Almost everyone I know has had the exact same argument with me: Why don’t I dance? Its fun, its amusing…etc. Well, I can tell you why: up until last night, I never felt the pull to dance. But last night, our RA and about 14 of us here at our apartment building went to Club Infinity, where we watched a lot of line dancing.
For me, my boyfriend bounces at bars 3 nights a week, in the middle of rural south Florida. According to him, and I believe him, that’s as redneck as you can get. Walking into a bar blasting country music and seeing people with cowboy hats reminded me so much of him, that every three seconds my eyes would catch a cowboy hat and I would turn around to see if it was him.
Needless to say, it put me in a I-want-my-boyfriend! type of mood, and as we stood there watching all the happy couples, for the first time in my life, I actually had a small desire to do it! I was comfortable – I knew half the songs, which is more than I’ve ever known at any other dance related social function I’ve been to. The people were all having a great time, and by the end of the night, it was packed.
When I say that every three seconds, I was turning to see if my boyfriend was there, I wasn’t joking. I knew it was entirely possible, but being on the phone with him while he was working, and hearing stories, made me recognize this place as somewhere he would be. Don’t get me wrong – he doesn’t drink – but with the security jobs, he ends up spending a lot of time in dark, crowded areas. Add in the cowboy hats, and we were finding it hard to believe we were in Buffalo, NY!
I discovered last night just how much I associate my boyfriend with the ‘cowboy’ culture of the United States. To be completely honest, I had the full on adrenaline rush that I get when I’m about to meet him. I could almost feel his presence, right there. Astral travel aside, every cowboy hat I saw, if I blurred my eyesight a little bit, and the guy was about the right height and weight, I could see my boyfriend. Never before have I been that affected by my environment based on recounts of his experiences and my own assumptions about the sub culture.
I hadn’t heard from him, at that point in the night, for going on four weeks, so I both loved and hated the experience. I wanted to bask in it, watching all of the happy couples, but I desperately wanted my other half.
To turn this into a magical discussion; instead of one of those ‘heartwarming’ experiences…let’s take a look at the energies that were overwhelming me. Primarily, there was nervousness on my part, because I hadn’t heard from my boyfriend in a few weeks, and I wasn’t quite sure that he would be okay with me going to a bar, even if I wasn’t drinking. Another primary energy was the anticipation and excitement of the other students that went with me – none of us knew what to expect. Upon arriving, there was our surprise and slight discomfort as we realized that we didn’t know what the hell we were doing. In addition, there was the usual happy-bar energies – the ones that turn men into monsters and women into sluts. Then, there was both the energy and our reaction to the energy of the couples and singles dancing on the floor. Synchronized, their energy was practically emanating out and over the entire room. The music was loud. And, for my own personal addition, I had constant reminders of my boyfriend, who, at that point, was missing in action. Can you see why I was overwhelmed?
Its not always bad to recognize the force of the energies around you. Unlike what would have happened several years ago, I was not pulled into any specific action by the energies surrounding me at the time of entrance into the club – we had an agreement (all 18 of us) that we would each dance at least once. We did. I remained an observer within a large group situation.
As a witch, this is recognized as a good thing. We are the caretakers of the world – we were here long before organized religion and politics, and we will be the last ones to leave. It is our duty as witches to observe; it is unfair of us to act within the ‘normal’ context, because we are aware, and therefore, more responsible for our actions. It’s kind of like a three year old calling someone a whore because they heard it from an adult; versus being the adult, calling someone a whore. Bad analogy, but the point stands.
Its not to say we can’t have fun. We just have a doctrine of intelligence – we’re not supposed to act excessively, dumb. For example, getting drunk and getting into a fight is probably a bad idea because of the karma associated with it. We walk our own paths, and we shouldn’t have to tell people what we are: they should know. We should be silent and steady role models.
Granted, this is my own opinion, and I might not know a damn thing. But, I have always held close an expression used by my High Priest and his teacher before him: We take a step, and the world takes a step with us. We stumble, and the world falls before our feet.