First off, I apologize for leaving the last post at the top for so long. I got involved in life, and its been putting me through a grinder as of late. The stress is hitting me a tiny bit – only this morning, mind you – as I face a meeting with my professor that will either make or break our relationship. No worries 🙂
So, this morning is the first time I’ve felt homesick, ish, the entire time I’ve been here in sunny Florida. I think part of it is the weather – it has to be in the fifties here, and its reminding me of the spring at home. Late spring, but spring. And then I get to thinking. Summer is the only time – that height of summer – where we don’t say goodbye. In the spring there is high school or college graduation, in the autumn there is the start of the school year or college…Christmas is all about seeing those people you see once a year (my family celebrates Christmas culturally, not religiously) – and Easter is much the same. So, the weather I’ve been feeling up until this point – summer – has not caused me to reflect at all on being away from home.
The other part of it is my dreams. I had one of those dreams where you wake up and think you’re somewhere else – I thought I was home. Then I realized I wasn’t.
But what is home, exactly? This is a question which has plagued me most of my life. I had a wonderful childhood, wonderful school, wonderful everything. I’ve had a stable family and home all of my life. But as a college student, I struggle with the concept of home. When I am at college, I consider the place where my parents live “home” – but I refer to college as “home” when I am at the place where my parents live. I feel most at peace and at home in the midst of a ritual or a moment of awareness where I realize that the Gods, the Ancestors – they’re all near.
If you don’t have a religion or a path that makes you feel at home – you should find one. The feeling of being there – at peace – nirvana – is something most unconsciously strive for, for most of their lives.
I am a bit homesick, yes. Homesick for my dogs and my cats, perhaps my parents (but I do talk to them) – for the northern woods and the northern snow, and the sights and the wind and the water. But, it too shall pass 😉