The 3 Big Rules of Etiquette

Let’s face it. A lot of pagans and wiccans and everyone in between can easily take offense to something that you didn’t mean as offensive! Maybe you didn’t ask before you touched something of theirs, or you said something the wrong way, and suddenly you’ve got a group of angry crackheads bearing down on you.

Not that pagans are angry crackheads…I just got carried away with the imagery. Anyhow, the point is, if you’re new to the path and you’re looking for a group or an event to be openly pagan in, there are some basic, usually standard rules that you have to adhere to. Please correct me if there’s anything to add or to disagree with, but generally, the entire etiquette can be summed up to respect.
a big thing that is true in paganism across cultural boundaries is to ask before you touch. We often energize our items to be sensitive to what we want them to do, and your interference without our permission will upset us. Ask, or wait until we offer a tool or amulet for your inspection.

In the same manner, ask before you touch us. We often can become upset by invasions into our personal privacy. It may disrupt our focus, it may disrupt our aura.

Do not ever, ever, ever, introduce someone by their real name at a pagan event. Use the name that they are using for themselves, or simply allow them to introduce themselves. If someone is not super open about themselves, introducing them as their real name will upset them. A lot.


2 responses to “The 3 Big Rules of Etiquette

  1. Merry Meet,

    I basically do agree on what you wrote only that I’d add that these are great rules to follow if you want to make sure. Other then that it differs from community to community; Paganism is a religion (?) of varierty and so are the customs and (unspoken) laws. Yet for most pagans are aware of the fact and we mostly spend our time with non-pagans we are used to tell people if we don’t want them to do something.
    Yet the one about not touching stuff (especially everything that looks cultic) is a really great guidline. Other then that you’ll soon get a feeling for how to behave in your specific community.

    This most of all is true for the name-thing: Just ask people whether they want to be adressed and introduced by their given name or their pagan one. I know a lot of communities where hardly anybody knows someone else’s pagan name and in some of them the pagan name is handled as a secret only to be revealed to people you trust.

    To put it in the all famouse nutshell: Just ASK. If you are new to a community find someone who feels good and tell him that you are new and unsure how to behave. Usually people will explain everything important to you.

    – Migdalit

  2. Good post. I hope people heed your words and avoid alienating themselves from their pagan community. Perhaps, though, they just don’t realize that as pagans, they are expected to know better.

    Also, although the first and third rules are spot on, how often does it happen that a stranger touches you without your consent? Are people really that clueless? Or lovey-dovey? 🙂


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