I left my last post here two months ago with a rather determined yet depressed note. I hate to leave my life in the hands of my readers in that state. Its silly. I’m not a depressed person, nor am I always sad or cynical or even methodical.
I’ve had two questions being posed to me lately. The first is the one I mentioned in the previous post. The simple task of, “When you climb a rope, what do you find?” I did manage to climb the rope. Well, I kept climbing and climbing and I’d get to the top and there would be a ceiling or another corridor or anything but “something.” But eventually, I found a dream where I had a rope. Vine, actually. So I asked the vine that was on the…banyon esque… tree to toss me up to the top, which it did. There was a moment of blackness as I fought to keep my lucidity, and I landed in my backyard. There, in my own backyard, I saw a friend who I had been ignoring as of late, and I apologized to him and the dream faded out into a mess of normal stuff.
Spoke to my high priest, and now I have the next part of the task: get back up there, and find a fruit. Observe the fruit. So that’s where I’m stuc now.
Second task? Find a direction! Find a calling! Tell me what you want to do with your life! You can’t just arbitrarily choose – you have to know!
Those are the things he said, and those pissed me off too! But in any case, I devoted some time and meditation to it – if only out of respect for him – and while I was also searching for graduate school ideas, I came upon the realization that I am, by trade, a healer and a finder. It’s not a specific thing…like Tarot or a funky thing with knowing what dogs are saying, but its something.
So that’s where I am. Discovering more about my path, and trying to find that damn fruit.
Anyway, I wanted to write a bit because I made a realization a bit earlier today. My boyfriend hadn’t spoken to me since Friday. I was annoyed, upset, frustrated, worried, pissy, etc – he’s a police officer, so not talking to me could mean he’s hurt or just dumb.
I got back here from home (I’m back to college now) and I was still annoyed and stressing and I decided to meditate / sleep. And for three hours, I dreamed intensely about my boyfriend. The dreams didn’t make any sort of sense, but they all had a theme: him. I was focusing my entire being, so to speak, on getting him to notice me, pay attention, and come back to me. Because I don’t like it when he leaves.
I woke up three hours later and called him four times. On the fourth try, I woke him up.
I didn’t realize that my stress dreams were really magic…but it’s what I inherently do when I need him or miss him. And for the most part, it works.
New kinda magic! Dream magic 😉