So, I’ve written this blog a very long time, and I’m sure readers have come and gone, or like me, check it once a year when it stopped being so consistent. Unfortunately, I can’t even say that I’m being consistent elsewhere. I have two other blogging arenas – sparkpeople, and a science blog. The sparkpeople blog often deals with my struggles with health and fitness; and the science blog, well, that deals with my career. Unfortunately, I don’t feel comfortable enough to allow my personal beliefs to mesh with my graduate studies. As a woman in science, that is a big no-no.
Life is just so darn busy as an adult, you know? On top of school and work(at school), I have yard work and house cleaning and even pets to take care of! It’s like I’m a big girl now or something.
I don’t even remember the last time I did a formal circle. I think it may have been Yule 2009. I always commemorate the holidays, but often, I feel like I would be disrespecting the divine by haphazardly throwing together a ritual because, well, “Oops! Today is a holiday!”
In the last couple of months, quite a bit has happened in all realms of my life. One of my close family members passed away about a month ago. That’s what I’ve struggled with, recently. Well, I’m not struggling with it anymore – curling into a ball and repeating no no no no no doesn’t really solve anything. I’m more… still, in shock.
I understand that she’s gone home and it will be a while before I see her again. And I also understand that it was well past her time. It’s just hard, you know? Every time I think about it (like now), I start to cry. So most of the time, I just, I don’t think about it. I’ve finally started sleeping ok again, as long as I don’t think about it.
Maybe someday, soon, I’ll post the spiritual lessons that come with death, to try to offer counsel to others who are lost in grief and trying to find their way. I’m not quite ready to face those words, though. I apologize.
Anyway, here I am, posting with a title of Beltane, and I haven’t even MENTIONED it yet. Beltane is my favorite holiday. Back when I had a coven, we had such fun with Beltane – we jumped a fire, grilled hot dogs, and ran around barefoot. It was sunny, and wonderful, and happy.
Beltane is about commitment, in essence. Yes, there’s sex, and sex is wonderful, but Beltane is about the Commitment that the gods make to each other. Marriage. Etc. Beltane is the height of spring – of growth and beauty and awakening.
This Beltane, though I may not do a formal ritual today, I am committing. I am committing to living more sustainably. For the next six weeks, I am going to bicycle to the grocery store; walk to work/school at least once a week. And only eat meat once a day.
Now, granted, with two trips home planned, and field work galore which will cost me literally, hundreds of dollars in gas, I’m not saying that walking to work/school or biking to the grocery store is really going to help the environment… But it’ll make me feel good about myself, and hopefully set me up to live sustainably in the future. I put my garden in, yesterday, so, it’s a start, right?
The important part of this exercise for me is to learn to live a little quieter. We’re surrounded by media at all hours of the day / night… Television and computers rule our lives. Imagine the money we could save and the health benefits we could receive if we spent that time outside, with the TV and computers off! I can’t minimize my electric use dramatically – I have a bearded dragon which needs heat and high-powered light. But, learning to live quieter myself… That I can do.
Maybe someday soon, I’ll start constructing posts and having them post at intervals so the blog gets updated more often. We’ll see.
In any case, have a blessed Beltane, all.