As I mentioned last post, I spent the first part of this month participating in National Novel Writing Month. I finished my book a few days ago and I’m in the process of getting it self-published. AKA, ordering proofs and then going through for some edits.
Anyway, so with that finished, my creative November is sort of… at a standstill. I have a few projects on the backburner for creativity, including my participation in a thing called “RealWomenRealSongs,” where I write a song a week for a year. But my main project, that book, is done.
So one of my big book ideas is a biography. Well, the story I want to tell is the story of my relationship with my ex, because I think its an important story to get out there. So that parents know that their children may be getting into some slightly illegal crap.
Or that was my initial intention with that book idea. Of course, the book idea came to me right after my breakup with him, and I was angry, and hurt, and sad.
Now, I’m less these things, and I tend to look on our relationship with fondness, although, when I get around to thinking about the end, I do still get rather pissed off. As anyone should, when their boyfriend marries someone else.
Now, in this instance, I didn’t demand respect, and so, I never got it.
Which makes me think that, if I were to write an effective book about the relationship, it would be the story of how we got together and then broke up.
But here’s my main issue. If its going to be biographical, as I feel it should, it will include some aspect of Wicca. Unfortunately, he tended to abuse his power over me as my high priest. He should’ve never agreed to be my teacher when I asked him, but its what happened.
Hopefully my case is the only occurrence of this abuse of minors through Wicca. But I doubt it. The thing is, that Wicca is a beautiful religion, and I don’t want my portrayal, even through fiction, of Wicca to be taken negatively. I don’t want people to read the book and go, “Wow, I’m never letting my child or myself become Wiccan.” I don’t want that at all.
But the thing is, that the religious aspect played a critical role. I can see it scattered throughout my writings. And it would’ve happened in any religious setting. He could’ve been my youth pastor.
So, audience, I ask you, what should I do? Should I reframe it and bash Christianity to avoid accidentally drawing negative attention to our path? Should I say “fuck it” and tell it how it is?
There’s also the matter of secrecy. I want to stay true to the spirit of my story, but I don’t want to reveal every secret hope dream and prayer that I’ve had, ever.
The story just cuts too close to home. Please, help me.