So, I don’t perform rituals much anymore – I’m always in the wrong spot at the wrong time, etc. I do have small ceremonies, often without tools like chalices or even food offerings for the gods. Sometimes I just take some time to sit in silence and think, and pray, and maybe even sing a little.
Those were my activities on Beltane night. I sat on a bench, feeling the cool breeze and the wet air, the promise of summer still far away. I thought about my life and where it has come from and where it’s going, and also about my partner’s life. My partner has been having some issues lately – the economy hit him hard and for a while, he was jobless. We live quite a distance away from each other, and I can’t be there for him when I need to.
In any case, I ended up just praying that he would find happiness again, and not three days later, he made an opportunity for himself and he now has a job. It was a surprising career choice, but you take what you can get, and I’m definitely not complaining.
In the end, that’s all I want. For those I love to be happy and safe and well cared for. I hope that this Beltane – or soon after – has found you all the same blessings.
That’s the thing about prayer. You walk around in a fog for a long time before you sit down to pray – you complain, you think its unfair or too tough or none of it is your fault, etc. You get angry at the world. Depressed, sad, maybe you cry. And when you’re done throwing your temper tantrum, what you do next is most important: Sit down. Think. Sing. Pray. Decide what you want and how you’re going to get it. And then do it.
You have support when you’re at your lowest point. Granted, our gods don’t carry you through. They pick you up, dust you off, and remind you that you have two feet and a world of opportunity. But isn’t that all we ever need?